Trying desperately to motivate myself and its not working. Inuit art. Fascinating. Thats not sarcastic, it really is just not right now. Right now there are many other things on my mind. I was playing this game where I would not talk about things that were upsetting me and on my mind, instead I would act and try to force myself to feel the way I wanted to feel and assume that eventually I would convince myself of everything I was acting out. Wrong. Didn’t work. Eventually it became overwhelming and I slipped into this inconsolable funk of a mood. My roommate, persistent as she is, eventually fought through my stubbornness and pulled out of me the things I had been trying to just ignore. I’m not fully convinced that my original plan of action was the wrong. I just think that I took it too far. Instead, it may be more beneficial to combined the two. Things that are reoccurring probably need to be said out loud. Other, the petty little things that hold no real significance, may be better to just diffuse internally and move on from. It’ll be a careful process. On a lighter note, I woke up to three messages on my phone this morning from random friends all showing love. Breakfast was delicious.
Trying desperately to motivate myself and its not working. Inuit art. Fascinating. That’s not sarcastic, it really is just not right now. Right now there are many other things on my mind. I was playing this game where I would not talk about things that were upsetting me and on my mind, instead I would act and try to force myself to feel the way I wanted to feel and assume that eventually I would convince myself of everything I was acting out. Wrong. Didn’t work. Eventually it became overwhelming and I slipped into this inconsolable funk of a mood. My roommate, persistent as she is, eventually fought through my stubbornness and pulled out of me the things I had been trying to just ignore.
I’m not fully convinced that my original plan of action was the wrong. I just think that I took it too far. Instead, it may be more beneficial to combined the two. Things that are reoccurring probably need to be said out loud. Other, the petty little things that hold no real significance, may be better to just diffuse internally and move on from. It’ll be a careful process.
On a lighter note, I woke up to three messages on my phone this morning from random friends all showing love. Breakfast was delicious.
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